I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
