not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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