how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
