found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
