took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize