Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
