Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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