i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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