Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
