i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drunk is not a location!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
