I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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