At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
