i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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