I can't watch pbs sober anymore
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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