Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
