Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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