My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize