blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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