It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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