You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
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We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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