Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
last night I used snow as a chaser
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
