Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize