Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
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Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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