I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just gift wrapped bread.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize