I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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