I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
