I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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