yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize