You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize