a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog