dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night