That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
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Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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