Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize