The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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