I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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