oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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