I just threw up on my dentist
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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