i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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