p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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