guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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