Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
