Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize