i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
