Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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