I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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