I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
