Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize