the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
wow bdsm is so cute
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