I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
