Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize