Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
