I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body