You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.