I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
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they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"