Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves